Monday, September 29, 2008

Click on picture to enlarge to read, worth it

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Praise The Lord!!

This is from my sister (Sis. Hill's) blog, had to share it with you!!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Text about Heidi on Saturday!

We had a pre-scheduled Sunday School Seminar with the McCools today, which by the way was fantastic!! While there, I text messaged Sis. Loretta this,

"Hey, it's Sis. Hill, I'm sitting in a Sunday School Seminar. How is Heidi! Anything new?"

The immediate reply was this,

Loretta Willman says, "Heidi is doing well!! She got her head dresses off today, and I fed her which means I held her!"

My reply was this,

"Yeh, Thank God!"

Friday, September 26, 2008

I took this from Misti's blog just in case someone visits my blog that hasn't seen hers. Heidi, we haven't met, but I love you and I'm praying for you sweetheart! I can't wait to meet you.

I am posting this asking that everyone please pray for Heidi Willman. She is the daughter of a family in our church. She was born last night, and is now in Valley Childrens Hospital ICU! The doctors did an EEG on her, to watch her brain activity and she is showing that she is having SEIZURES continuously. She is now only 24 hours old and has blood on her brain. This blood on the brain could be causing the seizures, but they are not sure what is going on. This poor baby is much to young to be having these problems. Please pray that her seizures will stop and the blood will go away. Thank you all for your continual prayers! I know that God can hear our prayers and heal her.
~** At this point the seizures have stopped, but she is still in ICU and not out of the woods yet. My Sister and Pastor went and saw her today, and she does seem to be doing some better. Please continue to pray!**~

Monday, September 22, 2008

God's Boxes of Love

I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black,
And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I store
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before

With curiosity, I opened the black
I wanted to find out why
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by

I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile at me.
"My child, they're all here with me."

I asked, "God, why give me the boxes,
Why the gold, and the black with the hole?"
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
the black is for you to let go."

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Dog and Cat Diary Excerpts

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
Submitted by:Leslie

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Ushers will eat latecomers.

For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Today the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth into Joy!"

The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

"Wise Up, O Men of God"

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Tonight's sermon -- "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the North and South ends of the church. Babies will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.

This being Easter, Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Smith to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of a new carpet. All of those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and do so.

Thursday night - Potluck supper -- prayer and medication to follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The Ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the basement on Saturday.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus

Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

The agenda was adopted... the minutes were approved... the financial secretary gave a grief report.

Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: "Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the rec. hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer and Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Bumper Sticker fun

Several of these hit home lately

with that car that stopped me

that had the pretty lights on

Bumper Stickers

If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You

Forget World Peace -- Visualize Turning Off Your Turn Signal!


Where There's A Will...I Want To Be In It!

Ever Stop To Think, And Forget To Start Again?

*This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me* (fan mail the cop gave me)lol

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

*Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway* ( This one just relates).lol

Honk If Anything Falls Off

I Haven't Lost My Mind - It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

If you don't like the way I'm driving, YOU come get these handcuffs off!

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Drive defensively - buy a tank.

I may be slow but I'm ahead of you! (Me, from now on!) lol

On the back of an old pickup: If this truck was a horse, I'd have to shoot it.

If you can read this, you are in phaser range.

Get in - buckle up - pipe down - and hold on!

*Support your State Troopers-Drive really fast.*(The car with the pretty lights on top) lol

Your Dog is Welcome!

Your Dog is Welcome

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:

I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.